I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
