i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
