Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
