so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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