New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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