Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
