I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There's a naked man in my car right now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
