Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize