i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize