i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
