my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
