My hand turned me down
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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