Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
