I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
