Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
