I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
