I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i think my cat just said my name.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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