ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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