btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As shirtless as possible
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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