next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
