She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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