The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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