haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
