So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
