Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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