WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
