Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
