Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
