is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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