The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize