i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
