just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sext me about skeletons
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
