dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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