Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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