Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
