I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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