All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
