Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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