Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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