he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
