what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
