and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize