Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
