I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
