My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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