You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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