I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
