I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
