look no pants
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
