Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
