oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
