I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
