I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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