i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
