The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Randomize
