I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
