what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Found your dick twin last night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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