Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize