im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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