i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
