I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
