thus making me awesome and them whores
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize