My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
